Bethlehem Seminary

I’m happy to report that after a two-and-a-half year break, I’m continuing my seminary education! Western Seminary’s Hawaii cohort was discontinued but in God’s timing, a new Hawaii cohort with Bethlehem College and Seminary has begun, led by Chris Bruno.

I’ll be working towards a Master of Arts in Exegesis and Theology through a two-year program. BCS is committed to church-based in-person theological training, but due to COVID-19 and being the only student on a neighbor island, I’m mostly participating via Zoom. We’ll be meeting weekly as none of the instruction is online distance learning.

Bethlehem College and Seminary is based in Minneapolis, Minnesota. BCS started as The Bethlehem Institute in 1998 as a ministry of Bethlehem Baptist Church, where John Piper served as pastor for 33 years. In 2012, John Piper said:

“Now that the end of my three-decade-long chapter as senior pastor at Bethlehem Baptist Church is on the horizon, I am excited that higher education is still part of God’s call on my life. Especially so when I consider that Bethlehem College & Seminary is organically rooted in the very church that I am in my fourth decade of loving. As I continue to write and speak, God willing, I am eager to pour energy into raising up the next generation of leaders by serving as Chancellor of our school.”

Piper has been a huge influence on my life and theology. It’s exciting to be part of his seminary program, while at the same time, being able to fellowship with friends like Chris Bruno.

My first course is in Biblical Greek (yikes!). I’ll try to share what I’m learning on this blog. Please pray for me as I continue this journey. May it all be for the glory of God!

Knowing My Father

A month ago, my father passed away. He would have turned 79 on September 3, 2020.

On August 13, 2020, I got word that my dad had another stroke while visiting family on Oahu. It was a bad stroke that sent him into a coma. His condition became worse as time went on. Knowing I would have to quarantine upon my return, I flew to Oahu in the morning hours of August 14. When I arrived, I learned I wouldn’t be able to see him until the next day due to COVID-19 precautions, but my sister was with him to provide updates.

I went to see him on August 15. He looked relatively peaceful on a ventilator, at least until the nurses had to clean out his lungs. It was a difficult sight to see my dad react involuntarily. I was told there was signs of brain damage and if improvement wasn’t observed in the next 24 hours, it would be appropriate to take him off life support. I could tell his time had come and I knew he would want his suffering to end. I said my goodbyes to him. I thanked him for loving me and showing me how important the Bible and going to church was. I thanked him for showing me how to be a good father that works hard to provide. I apologized for being the brat that I was and for not spending more time with him. I just had a few hours with him and then it was time to let my brother see him. The family had a meeting that night and we all agreed to let go of my dad.

On August 16, we all went to the hospital and waited for the nurses to bring him off life support and out of the ICU. My siblings, nephew, and nieces in the mainland were there with us via Zoom. As my dad rolled into the room, he was struggling to breathe. I couldn’t bear the sight, so I waited outside. We waited two long hours for the Lord to take him. I came back inside to witness his last breath. We prayed and hugged him goodbye.

At that point, I was so thankful for my dad, my family, and the fact that I got to physically be with him in his last days. The next day, I flew home and began my mandatory 14-day travel quarantine. For the next few days, I was terribly sad as I reflected on my father. I missed him and wished I could have known him more.

Over that weekend, we discovered a video testimony that my dad must have given in 2011, just before his first stroke. It was amazing to see him look and speak normally. I also have his autobiography which is now a priceless treasure to me. In both his video testimony and his book, he shares about his gambling addiction and all the miracles he experienced as he left that life and pursued the Lord. What strikes me the most is that out of everything that happened in his life, he was most thankful that his whole family came to know the Lord. He says that was the greatest of the miracles he witnessed.

My friend, who also lost this father in 2016, said the passing of your dad puts into perspective what you know, what you thought you knew, and what you will never know about him. That described perfectly what I was going through. I am thankful for what I knew about my dad, but I have to admit, I wish I knew more about him. Maybe one day we’ll catch up.

Through all of this, I’m reminded how blessed I am to know someone even more important… my heavenly father. How great it is to have revelation about Him in the Bible and the Spirit that allows me to know Him.

The prophets said:

For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
    the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (Hos. 6:6)

Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth…
(Jer. 9:23-24)

Jesus said:

And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)

Knowing God is the greatest blessing for me and my family, and according to my dad, the greatest miracle he got to experience.

The Chosen

With all the terrible things that have been happening during this pandemic, you have to celebrate the good things. The best television show myself and many others discovered during the stay-at-home orders was The Chosen. It first released in April and November of 2019, and it’s not a traditional production; it’s a crowd-funded project. Produced by VidAngel, and written/directed by Christian filmmaker, Dallas Jenkins, it is the largest crowd-funded media project of all time. It is also the first multi-season series about Jesus Christ, a format much better suited for the subject matter. I thoroughly enjoyed it and here’s why:

Production Quality

I usually avoid faith-based film and TV. They either have second-rate production quality or confuse the gospel message; usually both happen. The Chosen is an exception. The writers (Dallas Jenkins, Ryan Swanson, and Tyler Thompson) have done an excellent job adapting the stories of the gospels in a creative and compelling way. The casting of this show was done well. No well-known names ended up in the show, but make no mistake… this is a very talented cast. The director and actors created very likable and memorable characters. The set and costume design is more contemporary but colorful, lively, and immersive. There are more special effects in this show than most people probably realize, but it’s done seamlessly and effectively. Simply nothing about this production screams “second-rate” and that’s refreshing.

Creative Liberties

The story lines in the The Chosen aim to be faithful to the message of the Scriptures but they’re not afraid to take creative liberties to support that message. As a result, some events take place out of chronological order, characters that don’t cross paths in the Bible are more interconnected in the show, and we see background stories to help develop each character. That’s what’s so unique about this adaptation of the gospels. Instead of making Jesus the main character (he is hardly in the first two episodes), this show is more of an ensemble act with Jesus being the center of the plot. This is really more like the Bible. Everything is about Jesus, but Jesus is not the main character in every story.

They play around with some interesting ideas: Simon needs to resolve his tax debt with the Romans; Matthew is an autistic outcast of his family and people; Nicodemus contemplated being one of Jesus’ disciples; and Jesus has quite a sense of humor about himself. All of these extra-biblical plot lines may be controversial to some Christians but they weren’t meant to be. They are not making truth claims. It helps paint a more complete picture so that the message will grab harder. Preachers do this all the time; they speculate on ancillary details to draw listeners into the message. The writers do their best to keep everything plausible, though what is plausible to one scholar might not be so for another. It’s best not to quibble. After all, the entire show is in English, and they often use contemporary phrasing. The result is a very accessible, relatable, and human story.

Following Jesus

What makes this show special is how they portray individual encounters with Jesus. To see Simon fall at the feet of Jesus after his life and faith was falling apart brought tears to my eyes. To see Matthew, who is calculated, wealthy, and methodical, follow Jesus in a heartbeat brought a smile to my face. To see the rejected Samaritan woman be accepted by Jesus and go on to joyfully proclaim Christ was inspiring.

As I said earlier, these characters on the screen become relatable and I can see myself in their shoes. As they fall in love with Jesus, so do I. I am reminded how I am a sinner like Simon and feel unworthy to be blessed by him. I wish I could so easily deny myself and my comfort to follow Jesus as Matthew did. I want to proclaim Jesus is the Christ like the Samaritan woman.

I simply love seeing people have so much affection for Jesus. This is what Christianity is about. It’s about our affection for a person, Jesus, the son God. In this show, you get to see that in a tangible way. Our love for Christ doesn’t have to be any different today. Jesus is alive!

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There is only one season so far consisting of eight episodes. They plan to do eight seasons with only the second season partially funded. I pray all eight seasons get fully backed. Check it out and support it if you can.

Thoughts on The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker reached over $1 billion in ticket sales worldwide in its theatrical run. This was achieved despite receiving mixed reviews by both critics and the general audience. Not much was going to stop the world from checking out the final installment of the nine-part “Skywalker Saga” that was 42 years in the making.

Director J.J. Abrams created a film that moved at a break-neck pace and he made unexpected story choices, which elicited some criticism. Those that praised the film, including myself, found The Rise of Skywalker to hit the right beats for a saga finale. Some of those beats echo biblical themes that can make the film especially enjoyable for a Christian. Warning: Spoilers below.

A Dark Lineage

The biggest reveal in The Rise of Skywalker was that Rey is the granddaughter of the mystically revived Emperor Palpatine. In The Force Awakens, Rey faced her fear that her absent parents would never return. In The Last Jedi, Rey faced her fear that her parents were no one, and she, herself, had no significant lineage. So it was a surprising choice for Rey to in fact have a significant lineage after all. She was a descendant of the most evil figure in Star Wars lore. For screenplay co-writers, J.J. Abrams and Chris Terrio, it was a necessary choice in order to continue challenging Rey as a character. In an interview, Terrio recalls:

J.J. always had an idea in his head of where he wanted us to emotionally leave the trilogy, and I think he wanted Rey to have to contend with the very worst things about herself that we could imagine.

Terrio points out they wanted to build on what Rey struggled with in The Last Jedi:

In a way, the worst possible news for the Rey of ‘Episode 8’ is that she is just a child of junk traders, which is true. That’s not contradicted by what you learn in this film, but that she’s the descendant of someone who represents the opposite of all that the Skywalkers represent.

This is not unlike what Luke Skywalker faced in The Empire Strikes Back. Initially, Luke thought facing Darth Vader meant facing his father’s murderer. Instead, Luke was faced with the reality that the Vader was his father, and he was the son of the most evil man he knew. Both Luke and Rey faced a trajectory of turning to the Dark Side like their father and grandfather, respectively. The climax of their stories was their rejection of that dark path.

Some people can relate to “breaking the cycle” of their parents’ transgressions, and in that sense, Luke’s story and Rey’s story are relatable. But there is a deeper spiritual connection we can have to that story. Every human being is faced with the dark reality that we are all sinners and on a trajectory toward death. In Romans 5:12-19, Paul argues that Adam’s sin in the garden spread sin and death to us all. We are not inherently good, rather, we are inherently evil and destined for condemnation. The climax in our story is whether or not we remain in that state, or find justification and righteousness in Jesus Christ.

Atonement With the Father

Ever since The Force Awakens introduced us to the antagonist, Kylo Ren, fans have been wondering: could Kylo Ren be redeemed like Darth Vader? Kylo Ren was portrayed as a conflicted man struggling with darkness and light. Was his former self, Ben Solo, really gone like he wanted to believe? He seemed to have sealed his fate when he murdered his father, Han Solo, casting some doubt on the idea of redemption. But hopes of “Bendeption” was renewed in The Last Jedi as Kylo Ren still had a soft spot for his mother, Leia, and for Rey, who he shared a deep connection with. Was Kylo Ren truly committed to the Dark Side as he took the throne of Supreme Leader?

We got our final answer in The Rise of Skywalker. Kylo Ren found redemption through an act of mercy from Rey (who healed his wound) and forgiveness from his father, through the memory of his father. Terrio points out importance of this plot point:

It’s mythic archetype that has run through myth and literature from the beginning, which is coming face to face with the father and atonement with the father. It’s part of Hamlet; it’s part of so many great stories.

Atonement with the father is more than an archetype. It is something we all need. We have all, in sin, betrayed our heavenly father. Rey’s act of mercy opened the eyes of Ben Solo. Christ can do the same for us, so that we can approach God the Father with humility and submission, asking for forgiveness. Han Solo always wanted his wayward son to come home. As the parable of the prodigal son teaches us (Luke 15:11-32), God longs for his wayward children to come home as well.

Laying Down Your Life

The Rise of Skywalker showed us a new Force ability: Force Healing. Technically, Star Wars fans were first introduced to Force Healing in the new Disney+ show, The Mandalorian, when The Child (aka, Baby Yoda) displayed this unique ability. But Force Healing and self-sacrifice was a big theme in The Rise of Skywalker. First, Rey heals a giant serpent creature, giving some of her life force in the process. She later performs the act on Kylo Ren after she wounds him in their epic lightsaber duel. Leia seems to give up all her strength reaching out to Ben during his fight with Rey. Even the droids join in on the acts of sacrifice. BB-8 is seen giving some of his battery power to fire up D-0, and C3Po gives up his memory to help his friends.

The ultimate sacrifice comes when the redeemed Ben Solo gives up all of his life force when he heals Rey, who apparently died in her battle with Palpatine. It was a fitting end to Ben Solo. He knew he deserved death for the horrible things he did in his life as Kylo Ren, but he got to experience mercy and redemption. With that in mind, he didn’t hesitate to show the same mercy to Rey.

1 John 3:16 says:

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

God calls Christians to lay down their lives for their neighbors in light of how Christ laid down his life for them. When we see our brothers or sisters in need, we should not hesitate to help, even if we have to make real sacrifices of our time, energy, money, and, in some cases, our physical body. If we don’t, we should wonder, as John does: How does God’s love abide in you?

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As you can see, a movie like The Rise of Skywalker can be a fun film when you see how it reflects elements of the greatest story ever told throughout the whole Bible. May the force be with you!

Final Thoughts on Cancer and 2019

One of the interesting things about getting cancer was that friends and family that I hardly get to speak with were reaching out to me. I really appreciated that experience. One friend that reached out to me gave me a piece of advice that stuck with me as I went through my diagnosis and treatment.

He said, “Don’t let cancer define you.” He had seen others allow their illness to consume their lives. It was a simple but helpful word.

Sure enough, there were times that I was consumed with thoughts about cancer and chemotherapy. I was consumed with researching treatments and prognoses. I was starting to identify myself with my cancer. When that happens, the only thing you care about is being cancer free. It seemed to be the most urgent thing in my life. Suddenly, death was my greatest enemy.

But this is not the Christian life.

There is certainly some value in investing time and energy into fighting cancer. It is a real threat and a real trial. God has blessed me with life and a calling to care for my family. I had to fight for those things. Any cancer patient should.

I documented some of my experiences here, and I hope what I wrote will be something that my children can look back on to see what their father went through. I hope what I wrote will raise awareness about cancer and treatment. I wrote it so that I can even remind myself what God was showing me.

But my fight with cancer is not the only thing I want myself, my family, or my friends to be concerned with. I don’t want anyone with cancer to only think about cancer. Cancer is just one of the many dangers and worries in life. It’s just one of the countless ramifications of the fall of mankind. Cancer, like anything else related to sin, has been conquered by Jesus Christ.

Nothing compares to knowing and worshiping Jesus Christ, including being cancer-free. When you have cancer, it can seem like the most important thing. But it isn’t.

I’m reminded of the words of Paul:

For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, my kinsmen according to the flesh. (Romans 9:3)

Paul, understanding the supreme value of knowing Christ, would give up his own spiritual benefits for the sake of the salvation of all Israel.

That makes me wonder: Though I am hopefully now cancer-free, if my cancer returning meant one of my friends would trust Christ for the first time… would I accept that trade?

The answer MUST be: absolutely! I would accept that deal in a heartbeat, if what I believe about Jesus Christ is true.

This was the greatest lesson of 2019 for me. On top of that, I was blessed with another healthy baby boy, another year of a blessed marriage, my church covered my medical bills, and I even got to see a new Star Wars movie. God is good, with or without cancer.

May we remember the Lord in 2020 and beyond.

Chemo – Round 4

I started Round 4 of chemotherapy on July 5. This was the worst round yet for side effects. For the first 5 days after taking in the Oxaliplatin IV drug, the nausea, fatigue, and cold sensitivity was really bad. To make it worse, my right hand and arm (the arm they injected the IV) was numb for a week making it difficult to do normal daily tasks.

After a week, the side effects went away and I felt fine in the second week. I am very glad the chemo regimen is only 4 rounds and that I am finally done. Hopefully it did what it was supposed to do. I have a follow up appointment on July 29. I’ll find out then what happens next but for the most part, I think I can put this all behind me.

When I felt good enough to return back to work, I received heart-breaking news that my co-worker, who is only a few years older than me, was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. Survival rates are very low and I hate to think about what his treatment will be like.

Hearing about that put things into perspective. My cancer was not as bad as it could have been. I am very thankful for what the Lord has done for me so far. I’m still processing all of it. I’ll share some final thoughts on my cancer down the road. Meanwhile, I will continue to pray that my cancer is completely gone.

Chemo – Round 3

I started Round 3 of chemotherapy on June 14. The side effects from the chemo was worse than the first two rounds. For the first 5 days after taking in the Oxaliplatin IV drug, the nausea and fatigue was pretty bad. Dry mouth and cold sensitivity was also noticeable.

On Sunday, June 16, I was scheduled to preach at my church. That morning, I felt nauseous but I thought I would get through the day just fine. I clearly underestimated how much effort it takes to preach a sermon in the middle of a hot summer day.

About 30 minutes into the sermon, the nausea peaked and I suddenly became light headed. Cold sweat came over me. I suspect it was a sudden drop in blood pressure. I stopped talking and once everyone realized I wasn’t okay, a few people ran up to the pulpit and guided me to sit on the floor. I was too dizzy and weak to do anything else. I was also shocked at the reality of what was happening and felt embarrassed. All I could think about was wanting to finish the sermon.

Someone gave me a cup of water and after few minutes, I felt much better. I decided to finish the rest of my sermon sitting in a chair. Everyone payed close attention to me for the next 10 minutes just to make sure I wasn’t pushing myself too hard. I suppose it was a great thing to have such a captive audience for the rest of my sermon.

That experience was a vivid reminder to me how much I depend on God to get through everyday of my life, let alone how God gets me through a sermon.

I called in sick on Monday, and could only get though half of my work day on Tuesday. By Wednesday, day 6, I felt much better. I am now dreading to begin Round 4 on July 5, but at least it’s the last round. The Lord will get me though it, so please pray for me.

Chemo – Round 2

I started Round 2 of chemotherapy on May 24th. I talked with my nurse and we discussed the possibility that the anti-nausea medication (Proclorperazine) that I was taking was the actual cause of the side effects I experienced in Round 1. So I decided to go without the anti-nausea pills and see if that made a difference.

Sure enough, I didn’t seem to experience any side effects from the Capecitabine alone aside from mild nausea the first few days. What an answered prayer! It’s ironic how the pill that is supposed to help with side effects, gave me the most.

I did experience some side effects from the IV drug, Oxaliplatin. My right arm was tingly for a couple days and I experienced cold-sensitivity for a day after the treatment. I suspect that will be an issue more and more with each round. With only two more rounds to go, I don’t expect any permanent side effects. I feel sorry for people who have had to endure 8 rounds of this stuff, which was common practice until a few years ago.

I continue to hear that people (some who I hardly know) are praying for me. I have to say, God is faithful and he is answering those prayers. I’m looking forward to getting Round 3 over with. That starts up on June 14. I completed a solid 14 days of chemo in this round so I’ll be resting from any chemo until the 14th.

Chemo – Round 1

I am writing this update a bit earlier than I expected. For reasons I’ll explain below, I finished my first round of chemotherapy a week early. Here’s a quick update.

On May 3rd, 2019, I went in to the Hawaii Pacific Oncology Center to start my chemotherapy treatment. After an educational session with the nurse, I took my first dose of oral Capecitabine. I was then hooked up to an IV. I started with anti-nausea medication and steroids to prepare for the chemo drug, Oxaliplatin. The Oxaliplatin itself was about a 2-hour drip.

Thankfully, I didn’t feel any reaction to the IV as it was entering my body. In fact, I was quite comfortable at the oncology center. I was sent home with instructions to take the Capecitabine twice daily for two weeks.

By the grace of God, over the next week, I did not feel any of the expected side effects of fatigue, mouth sores, cold sensitivity, or neuropathy, all of which I was dreading. However, I did get a few unexpected side effects.

By Day 3, I started feeling jittery, like I had way too much coffee. In the next few days, my hands or back muscles would lock up while typing on my work computer. My eyes would want to stay closed, so I was blinking a lot. My co-workers thought I was tweaking! And maybe worst of all, my mind was getting foggy and easily overwhelmed. A few times, I cried out to God at my work desk, asking for relief because work was so overwhelming with the brain fog and jittery symptoms. Maybe I should have just taken the day off, but the work was already piling on.

On Day 7, I called my oncologist seeking advice and he told me to just stop taking the Capecitabine pills and they will reassess when I go back in on May 24th for Round 2 of my chemo. Later in the day, I felt much better, and the brain fog was gone. I feel like I am back in control, but I know I’m not taking full advantage of the chemo either. We’ll see what the game plan is for Round 2.

An Abundance of Counselors

My oncologist recommended 4 rounds (12 weeks) of chemotherapy, which included a dual regimen of Capecitabine (an oral chemo pill) and Oxaliplatin (a platinum-based IV drug). I asked lots of questions. I was especially interested in recurrence rates. The initial numbers he gave me were not encouraging. Without chemotherapy, I had a 50% chance that the cancer would return. That percentage is probably lower due to my age but it was nowhere near what I was hoping for.

I went home, prayed, did more research, and talked to more friends and family. With a 50% chance of recurrence, it was really no wonder that the anecdotal evidence I heard about seemed split. So I decided to just make a decision based on what could reduce recurrence rates, while considering the long-term effects of chemotherapy, especially from the Oxaliplatin.

Through the generosity of Christian friends, I was encouraged and given the ability to get more opinions from North Hawaii Community Hospital, and the Mayo Clinic in Phoenix. I was reminded of Proverbs 11:14:

Where there is no guidance, a people falls,
but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.

Both NHCH and the Mayo Clinic concurred with my oncologist. I should do the Capecitabine + Oxaliplatin. A genetic test on my tumor indicated with the dual-regimen of chemotherapy, recurrence rates go down to 17% for me. That is obviously much better than 50%, though these numbers didn’t seem to matter to my doctors. For them, it’s just important to do everything I can to kill the remaining cancer cells. Due to my young age, I was encouraged not to worry about the side-effects from chemo.

By now, I know I would regret it if I didn’t try chemotherapy.

So that’s where I’m at today. I face 3 months of chemotherapy and hope to beat the odds of 17%. I start treatment on May 3rd. What happens to me after that in the coming years is a mystery. Only the Lord knows.

As a believer in Christ, I always knew I would face serious trials in life. 1 Peter 4:12 tells me so. But I always wondered what these trials would look like. At the very least, I can now say cancer has been a real trial for me. I have had to seriously face the prospect of suffering and death. Cancer brings new temptations, such as anxiety or focusing on my condition too much. It’s tricky enough to be a good husband, father, elder, and social worker without cancer.

But I am not discouraged. I am able to entrust my soul to my faithful Creator. I have unfailing hope in Christ, who conquered death. Grace in my life has manifested in new and amazing ways. May I do good in the name of the Lord.