Knowing My Father

A month ago, my father passed away. He would have turned 79 on September 3, 2020.

On August 13, 2020, I got word that my dad had another stroke while visiting family on Oahu. It was a bad stroke that sent him into a coma. His condition became worse as time went on. Knowing I would have to quarantine upon my return, I flew to Oahu in the morning hours of August 14. When I arrived, I learned I wouldn’t be able to see him until the next day due to COVID-19 precautions, but my sister was with him to provide updates.

I went to see him on August 15. He looked relatively peaceful on a ventilator, at least until the nurses had to clean out his lungs. It was a difficult sight to see my dad react involuntarily. I was told there was signs of brain damage and if improvement wasn’t observed in the next 24 hours, it would be appropriate to take him off life support. I could tell his time had come and I knew he would want his suffering to end. I said my goodbyes to him. I thanked him for loving me and showing me how important the Bible and going to church was. I thanked him for showing me how to be a good father that works hard to provide. I apologized for being the brat that I was and for not spending more time with him. I just had a few hours with him and then it was time to let my brother see him. The family had a meeting that night and we all agreed to let go of my dad.

On August 16, we all went to the hospital and waited for the nurses to bring him off life support and out of the ICU. My siblings, nephew, and nieces in the mainland were there with us via Zoom. As my dad rolled into the room, he was struggling to breathe. I couldn’t bear the sight, so I waited outside. We waited two long hours for the Lord to take him. I came back inside to witness his last breath. We prayed and hugged him goodbye.

At that point, I was so thankful for my dad, my family, and the fact that I got to physically be with him in his last days. The next day, I flew home and began my mandatory 14-day travel quarantine. For the next few days, I was terribly sad as I reflected on my father. I missed him and wished I could have known him more.

Over that weekend, we discovered a video testimony that my dad must have given in 2011, just before his first stroke. It was amazing to see him look and speak normally. I also have his autobiography which is now a priceless treasure to me. In both his video testimony and his book, he shares about his gambling addiction and all the miracles he experienced as he left that life and pursued the Lord. What strikes me the most is that out of everything that happened in his life, he was most thankful that his whole family came to know the Lord. He says that was the greatest of the miracles he witnessed.

My friend, who also lost this father in 2016, said the passing of your dad puts into perspective what you know, what you thought you knew, and what you will never know about him. That described perfectly what I was going through. I am thankful for what I knew about my dad, but I have to admit, I wish I knew more about him. Maybe one day we’ll catch up.

Through all of this, I’m reminded how blessed I am to know someone even more important… my heavenly father. How great it is to have revelation about Him in the Bible and the Spirit that allows me to know Him.

The prophets said:

For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,
    the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings. (Hos. 6:6)

Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth…
(Jer. 9:23-24)

Jesus said:

And this is eternal life, that they know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. (John 17:3)

Knowing God is the greatest blessing for me and my family, and according to my dad, the greatest miracle he got to experience.